Viral Week is our weekly round-up of the weekend’s trending memes, humor, rumor, gossip, and everything else Chinese netizens are chatting about.

This week, both hair and marriages have to be straight, the greatness of Chinese inventions are questioned, and a cloned canine reports for duty:

Marriage overruled

The LGBTQ community took a hit when a spokesperson for China’s national congress announced on Wednesday that it would not consider legalizing same-sex marriage.

Canine cloning

China’s first cloned police dog, Kunxun, born in December 2018, has completed his training and reported to work at the police department of Pu’er, Yunnan.

Father fired

Cameras caught a crying boy in Taiyuan “disowning” his father after he was stopped by police for drunk driving: “Aren’t you ashamed? I told you not to drive! How can I call myself your son anymore?”

Four Average Inventions

A teacher from Chengdu’s University of Electronic Science and Technology of China has been suspended from teaching for two years for making “incorrect” remarks in a QQ group, suggesting that China’s “Four Great Inventions” were not all that great and that “ancient China had no substantial innovations at all.”

Straight rules

A secondary school in Xiamen asked an incoming freshman for a hospital note to prove that her curly hair is natural, or else get it straightened, as per their “no dyeing or perming hair” policy.

Scheme of love

After a 55-year-old woman in Anhui suffered a miscarriage, she found a creative way to convince her lover to marry her: faking a pregnancy with pillows, and kidnapping her own grandson to pass off as her child (her husband called the cops, who tracked down the baby and his grandmother).

Crash stunt

A Zhengzhou vlogger and his mother have been detained for staging a collision in which he “hit” her electric scooter with his Lamborghini, and caused a 40-minute traffic delay.

Cover Image from VCG